in the morning

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

until next time

OM Ireland, thanks a million.
Sitting here in Green Bay, Wisconsin
It’s hard to believe that it’s all over

There’s still a part of me that thinks
That in a few days 
I’ll be taking a plane back to Ireland
And continue life there

But the longer I stay here
The more it's slowly sinking in
That I’m not going back
At least for a while

The time has come and gone 
A year that involved so much
Planning and waiting
Emails and embassy visits
Visa issues and placement changes

Thinking back to when I thought I would be in Austria
“God, I’ll walk through this door until you close it”
Then a week before I was supposed to go
He closed that door

A dream crushed

Facing confusion
Grief
Uncertainty
Time was running out

Needing to remember that my life is not my own

All the while 
He had a different door
For a place that never crossed my mind

Ireland

And here we are
8 months later
And how it's gripped my heart

Last Sunday at church.

Looking back it's crazy to see how God provided and worked
In a place I had no idea what to expect

Learning things like how office life is still essential for ministry
At first having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact 
That my main role would be the administrative assistant in OM Ireland’s office
That normally wouldn’t be a job that I would sign up for 

But seeing as that’s the position they needed filled
I tried filling in that role the best I could
Aware that I would need a lot of help and a lot of grace
In doing something I wasn’t strong in or passionate about 

It sounds lame but I struggled
Sitting at a desk all day 
Answering emails, transferring calls
Paying motor taxes, scheduling devotions
Getting wrapped up into the office routine
Feeling discouraged because of not
Being out there where the people are

But as time went on and my perspective grew
I began to see how all this is necessary
In order for the ministry to keep going
The fine details if overlooked
Can cause issues that will hinder 
Instead of helping people thrive

A stretch in abilities
A change in perspective
A call to be faithful
Even in the little things

It’s all for Him anyway

A favorite view from my desk at the office.
But also realizing that no matter what job we have
The call is still there to make disciples
Convicted that even if my ministry for this internship is to do office work, 
I still need to be intentional about 
Being in the community and building relationships

Can be harder than it sounds

But as the year went on
I was amazed and humbled at how 
There were so many times
So many days
When I didn’t know what would happen
But the challenge was there to just show up and be available
Praying that God would provide opportunities 
To meet and talk with people 

Most of the time when we went to 
Ballaghaderreen to visit refugees
We had no clue who we’d meet or 
What would happen
But God always provided people
Always
It was so crazy

In this Syrian world in the middle of Ireland
Seeing relationships strengthen and conversations deepen
Conversations about life
Leading to conversations about the Gospel 
Leaving the hotel in awe 
Of how only God could have orchestrated that time

After dinner with some of the Syrian guys
I wish I could put into words all that happened
but even in just 8 months
I think life has changed

I never would have thought I'd end up there
but God has a much bigger picture in mind

"You can make plans but God directs your steps"

Needing to trust with open hands
Persevere in the midst of fear
God does provide
And God is faithful

One thing I still can't get over is meeting the Irish woman 
Who also lost her dad
The journey it's been with her
The spiritual battle it's been with her

But in this
Seeing how
God uses your story

There were times when I was struggling this year 
With the loss of my own dad
Questioning the pain
Then I'd get a phone call from her and she'd say,
"I know I can talk to you because you understand."

Wow

Seeing God use this loss for His glory
Across the world
It doesn't minimize the pain
But it somehow gives a purpose to the pain 

It's hard for me to understand
But it brings me to tears
Because it's literally and personally
Watching God make beauty from ashes

I'm thankful I was able to meet her with before I left
And praise God, she's willing to get connected with other Christians in Dublin
But please keep praying for her



One last thing before I sign off
But this picture above
Is one that I hope to never forget

Before I left for this internship 
And was in the middle of all the chaos
Of not knowing where I'd end up or what I'd do
A verse kept popping up 
Time after time

In the bitterness of all the changes, 
I wanted to believe what the verse promised
But I had a hard time letting it sink in
Dramatic as it sounds

But when I flew across the ocean
Into what I only knew as the unknown
I walked into my room for the first time 
And there hanging on the wall all by itself
Was a cross with that same verse on it:

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me, 
Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands."
Psalm 138:8

My heart sunk to my gut

I still don't know why plans happened they way they did
But I don't need to know

What I do need to know 
Is that God is good
And I belong to Him

It's about Him
Always has been
Always will be

In the next few weeks
I'll be heading back to British Columbia
For my last year at Columbia Bible College

The adventure continues as
I'll be a Resident Leader
For group of college ladies in my dorm

If you could be praying
For the wisdom and grace to lead in a Christ-like way
And the love and strength to build relationships and community
As well as for the transition back to life in this part of the world

That would be amazing

I can't thank you enough for journeying along with me in this
All a part of something bigger
But from the bottom to my heart
Thank you

May we keep trusting in Him

Until next time,
Ell ♡



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Impact Ireland - short-term outreach with so much enthusiasm. 

The hotel in Ballaghaderreen where the refugees live as they wait for housing. 

Syrian coffee.
Probably the strongest cups of coffee I've ever had.
But I'd take it any day.  

Last time with the whole gang.

Haima lived in the hotel for about 1.5 years.
But she finally got a place and it was so cool being able to visit her in her new home. 

Being responsible for the post was always a party.
Thanks for all always asking me about my day, Mike the postman.

Colm helping out with worship with his Irish bodhrán. 

Stopped in Washington & British Columbia on the way home

So incredibly thankful I was able to be in BC for Bek's wedding.
Love you! 

Also so thankful for his family. 
First met them Ireland but they are originally from the same city where I go to school in Canada. 
Crazy how small this world is. 

And now back home in Green Bay. 


I've had plans / shattered and broken / things I have hoped in / fall through my hands /
You have plans / to redeem and restore me / You're behind and before me / oh, help me believe

God, You don't need me / but somehow You want me / oh, how You love me /
Somehow that frees me / to take my hands off of my life / and the way it should go

...To open my hands up / and give You control

Tenth Avenue North - "Control"


Saturday, June 30, 2018

two weeks


I had missed Jimmy John's so much
As well as the beauty of Target
And the wide roads 
Where you don't really have to have fear of
Having a head-on collision when you're driving

America, thank you

About two weeks ago, 
I had the privilege of being able to 
Fly back to the states for 5 days 
For my dear friend’s wedding

Amazing to see her again
And to be with her family 
During this incredible time in their lives
Then even to see some of you at the wedding as well
Ah, so good to see you all

Thank you for a chance to be there

But I wasn’t prepared for the glimpse of 
The culture shock that would happen
When I stepped foot into my home country again
Weird stuff like finding myself looking at Americans in a different way
Noticing the difference in ways of communicating
Not used to the food anymore

This is my home 
But seeing how things have changed
And feeling out of place
Only after 8 months?
How?

But now back in Ireland
Then with one month left
But two weeks have come and gone
And now only two weeks left
Before I officially leave this place

Two weeks

How is it that it’s almost over
Soon to be taking a plane back 
To the life in North America

Face to face with leaving here
Having to process
Needing to move forward
But in all honesty,
I'm not feeling ready

Not ready to say goodbye
Or to transition 
Or to adjust 
From a place that has somehow 
Become like home

“One of the hardest things about missions is having to say goodbye”

But here we are 
Time will continue 
So needing to face this reality
That this is the time God has given
And to be thankful for it

So how to finish strong here
And look forward to what’s ahead
And trust God in the transition

But with this time left here
I want to ask for you to be praying

For strength to finish strong
With admin work in the office
With homework that’s due

For opportunities to connect with refugees
And the Irish woman I’ve been talking with 
To have conversations that point to Christ
That these people will come to know Him personally

And that my heart would be in the right place
Eyes fixed on Him
As I need to process and transition 
To a life back home
And back at college in BC

To be available and open for what God has
In these last two weeks
In the next two months
In the next year at school

A few days back I was talking with my housemate
About how crazy it all feels to be leaving so soon
But then she said something that struck me,
“Look how you’re not wanting to leave a place 
that you didn’t want to come to in the first place.”
Taking a moment to let that sink in
I said not really looking for an answer, "How did that happen?”
But she replied, “God answered your prayers.”

Wow. 

It’s hard to find words to all that’s happened this year
So I’ll try to find them and share them with you 
When I’m writing to you when the internship is over

But for now 
I know I can say that 
I’m just incredibly thankful

So with that being said
Thank you for everything

Looking forward to seeing you
If you're up for some Jimmy's or a cup of Joe, I'll totally be down :)

All my love,
Ell



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Oh hey there America.


Reunited. 


Liv, I am so stinkin' happy for you.
Thank you for everything. 

Back to morning devotions with the team. 

 749 years old.


Guess who came to visit? :) 


And these lovely gems too! 

A dream about to come true.


AND WE SURVIVED.

Well there were supposed to be cliffs. 


But when we hiked down...

...it was still so worth it.   



Jaesun's first time in a hammock 🙌
So cool to see how this hammock as become a conversation starter with strangers in town.
The other day an older gentleman asked if I could take a picture in the hammock
and proceeded to sing a folk song while swinging away.
Day made. 


It's been record breaking heat these past few days.
Apparently Ireland hasn't had 3 hot days in a row in a hundred years.
The grass is definitely feeling it.  


Irish air-conditioning.


Athlone - it's been a joy. 



"Even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me."
Psalm 139:10


Tuesday, May 29, 2018

a chance to go



I feel like I say this in every update 
but I can never believe how fast time goes here
In less than two months I'll head back 
Back to the States, back to Canada
And a whole new adventure will start again

I probably will be saying this every time I transition 
But I don't feel ready to go back 
and readjust
again  

How did this place become a place I don't want to let go of?
A place that will be another hard goodbye?

The relationships built here
In the team, on the streets, 
At church, at coffee shops,
at the refugee centre

How our hearts can grow for something unexpected 

But we still have 2 months 
So I’ll try not to get too sappy yet

It’s crazy to think back and think of all that’s happened since the last time I wrote
But there was a week in between it all that still blows my mind
OM had the suggestion that before I head back to the States, 
I should visit OM Austria and at least see the ministry I originally thought I would be at

So there I went
And stayed at their refugee centre for three days
I couldn't believe that I was there
After all that happened, to be able to live in it for a small time
Face to face with a dream that I needed to let go of and move on from
Having to wrestle with thoughts of what could have been 

But it was worth it 
I am so thankful for the opportunity


Three days of doing life with them
Having me join in on things like 
German classes and Bible studies, 
Women's sowing meetings and kids programs, 
Their International Cafe
It was incredible to see what they do and meet the people involved
Meeting  people from all over- 
Austrians, Germans, Syrians, Afghans, Iraqis

Trying to work through German language barriers
Learning how OM works with the Austrian government to house Christian refugees
Hearing more of how the refugee situation is so complicated and goes so deep
Seeing a different reality in Austria versus what I’ve seen in Ireland

Many refugees in Austria are getting refusals to stay and are struggling with where to go
But seeing how many of them have become Christians
And are trusting God with what’s happening 

Or hearing stories about how they’ve come to faith in Jesus
but how that’s changed everything in their family
I was talking with a woman from Afghanistan and 
she explained that she hasn’t talked with her family 
since she became a Christian 8 years ago 
But she started listing off staff members’ names one by one
And explained, “The people here are my family” 

It was amazing to meet these people who have come to know Jesus 
but I don’t know if I’ll ever grasp how much it has cost them
Seeing how God has worked and is working in Austria 
And then knowing the friends we visit at the refugee centre in Ireland
It’s our prayer that they’ll come to faith in Jesus too 

But to see how God is working here in Ireland
Building relationships and having more conversations
Jesse offered an Arabic Bible to one of our close friends there 
and he said, “Of course, why not?”
Another friend opened up for the first time a couple weeks ago
And we were able to talk about Christianity versus other religions
Which led to sharing the Gospel with him for the first time
Connecting more with a woman who's an atheist 
It’s so cool to see what God’s been doing


And when talking with those at OM Austria about what’s been happening in Ireland, 
There was this realization that Ireland is a place that I want to go back to
Not where I thought I’d be 
but realizing that there’s work to be done in Ireland too 

So, everyone, I was able to go
So incredibly thankful
Please be praying for the work in Austria as well as at the refugee centre here

Also please be praying for Ireland as a nation
This past weekend there was a nationwide vote 
to repeal their 8th amendment which was set in place to protect all life
Which meant abortion was still illegal in this country
Until Saturday

My pastor said at church this Sunday, 
“We may be bruised and battered…
the constitution may have changed, 
but the facts don’t. God still reigns.” 

Also please keep the woman I wrote about last time in your prayers as well
We’ve been able to keep in touch
And we met up again
I offered her a Bible and she said she wanted it
But then I found out this weekend 
that out of superstition
she left the Bible on the side of the road

I don’t know what God is doing
But to trust Him through it
and to thank Him through it

Thank you for all your support and encouragement

Until next time, 
Ell 



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Just when you thought Ireland couldn't get any greener

St Peter and Paul's Cathedral in Athlone

Helping at youth conferences has it's perks

So thankful for this team. OM Ireland, I'm going to miss you.  

Heather came! 

Rend Collective in Ireland...I died. 

We thought it would be a warm day at the beach...

At a pro-life rally in Dublin. This country had been battling for so long. 
Hoping one day more people will own one of these
I'm just gunna say, this whole selfie with a sheep thing has been a lot harder than I thought


"The seas have lifted up, O Lord, the seas have lifted up their voice;
 the seas have lifted up their pounding waves.
Mightier than the thunders of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea- 
the Lord on high is mighty."
Psalm 93:3-4